Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Warning: Depressing thoughts ahead
So, 3 years ago yesterday, I started my In-Vitro to have Tyse. As I was thinking about that, and how fast those 3 years have gone by I started thinking about my life, and how I got to be where I am today. The last 2 years have been really difficult for me and Tom, and a lot of what has happened is too personal to share on this blog, but it has been one of the hardest times in our lives. Its funny how things can change so quickly. 2 years ago we owned a home, Tom had a job that he enjoyed, and we had awesome insurance that covered in-vitro. We thought we had everything. A few bad decisions later, here we sit renting my uncles house, Tom hating his job, and looking for a new one constantly, and no insurance. Sometimes it can be very overwhelming, and I wonder why all of this bad stuff had to happen. Through it all, I have been aware of Heavenly Father's presence, and his guidance in my life. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for, and I do realize that he has blessed me so much. But tonight I sit here crying as I write this, wondering what His plan is for me, why He won't let me have another baby, why life has to be so hard all the time. And wondering where the next 3 years will take me.